Stupid Warning Labels

While preparing for my last final, I came across my notes for defective warnings.  I'm sure you've seen some warning labels on random products and thought, "Are people really that dumb??"  Unfortunately yes, some people are really that dumb.  And I have to admit that lawyers are the reason we have a lot of those stupid labels.  If someone doesn't realize that using a hair dryer in the shower is dangerous (or just plain stupid -- how are you supposed to get your hair dry if water keeps falling on it?), then there will be a lawyer willing to sue because the hair dryer maker should have warned them about that particular act of stupidity. 

When we got to this particular topic, the professor brought along a list of his favorite stupid warnings and shared some with us.  He was literally laughing so hard, he started crying.  Here's a sample:

• On a hammer -- May be harmful if swallowed.
• On can of pepper spray -- May irritate eyes.
• In a microwave oven manual -- Do not use for drying pets.
• On a stroller -- Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
• On a box of rat poison -- Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
• On a chainsaw -- Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.

Thinking about all these brilliant attempts at avoiding lawsuits made me wonder what kind of gems I had lying around my house.  Here's what I found:

• On a hair straightener -- Do not use to straighten eyelashes.
• On a jar of peanut butter -- Allergy warning: Contains peanuts.
• On a bottle of stain remover -- Caution: Contains cleaning agents.
• On a can of Raid -- Do not apply to humans.

All I can say is, good to know.